Lisa Fischer

My husband just informed me: we aren't best friends.

My husband, who clearly is Dr. Phil now, just told me that he gave relationship advice to one of our children to inform that child of a possible misunderstanding on how to know if someone is the right person for him/her. Our child was concerned that the two of them weren't "best friends" with the same interests of their possible significant other and thought being "best friends" with common interests might be critical for long-term success. Husband said, "No. Great relationships are not based on being 'best friends' with the same interests." He went on to say that men and women are very different, often polar opposites, and it's those differences that often create the sparks. He said, "Take your mother and me for example. There is no better marriage I am aware of, but we are not best friends." He then made a list of the interests Kris and I have in common and the ones we don't. So after thirty years of marriage, I was just informed we aren't best friends. And once he explained HOW best friends interact, I totally agree.

This was the text he sent our child on what our different interests are:


These are the only interests your mother and I have in common:
Faith, family, food, and humor.

These are the things your mother is interested in that I could care less about:
Social media, celebrity watching, Housewives TV, attending parties, shopping, New York, beauty stuff like hair, nails, skin and fashion, and most of all TALKING.

These are the things I am interested in that your mother could care less about:
Sports, cars, politics, weight lifting/fitness, architecture/building, real estate, investments, money, and most of all NOT TALKING.

So embrace your differences! If you and your spouse happen to have a lot of things in common-that's great. If not, don't despair. You were attracted to that person for some reason in the beginning. Go back to how you were romanced and work at it as if you were dating. It's always fun to remember what I like about my husband, and I'm glad he reminded me what he likes about me.